You can't believe anything you read. Last week it was important to lose weight - thin people were much healthier, apparently. This week, the latest research shows that fat people live longer. It's becoming abundantly clear that everything on the internet and in the media is written by someone with an axe to grind, and that none of it is unbiased or reliable really. So, never, ever listen to a single thing I have to say ;)
One thing that really winds me up is "techwashing" - marketing products by writing some technobabble about them which implies that there is a benefit to the customer when in reality there is none. We don't want to do that. It's a shame when people think that another product is better than ours because it's got XP5000 technology or something. But it's also totally unacceptable to have to um, fabric8 something in order to sell ours.
2.5ply fabric is a current rant topic for me. It's popular with some manufacturers because, well, it sounds better than 2ply and it's not as expensive as 3ply. But it's just 2ply with some dots or a pattern printed on the inside. Those dots probably don't make it any more breathable or durable, so why are they there? To make the product seem more technical than a 2ply fabric one. Techwash.



Waterproof zips are fun too. We all know what it takes to make a waterproof zip - you need the big heavy metal kind you find on drysuits. The ones you need a tug-of-war team to operate. Anything less than this is not waterproof. It's not even water resistant. It's just pretty, and techwash. Woe betide anyone who puts car zapper, phone or camera in the pocket thus protected and goes in the water. Goodbye electric thing. Nice knowing you.

But the manufacturer calls it a "waterproof zip". Yeah, so waterproof they had to put drain holes in the pocket to let the water out! TECHWASH!!!!

In fact, pockets in general are an interesting area on kayak equipment. Buoyancy aids often have useful pockets. You can even put electrical things in them, if you use a drybag or similar. Why then do you need a pocket on your cag? And why do people want pockets on trousers? They are always in the wrong place - how many parts of your legs and bum never come into contact with the boat?.Just some more stitching and tape to pay for that might leak. But it's an additional feature, isn't it? Yay...

I suppose what I'm saying is - I don't want feature lists. I don't want products that "have" things. I want products that "do" things. And I'm off to design some. Or at least grumble to Hazel until she does...

Being a Team Rider

Photograph by Bill Mattos

Lots of people want to know how to get sponsored and think they should be because they are better than their mates and can do this weeks new trick clean, huge and backwards all at the same time twice. I can't be bothered to explain how to get sponsored, if you don't know you probably won't get sponsored. However to help you out I am going to explain what I do as a Nookie Team Rider.

Photograph by James Weir

I represent Nookie as a professional paddler, it is my job to do many things that basically fall into three categories. First and foremost it is my job to represent the Nookie in a positive light to all, from people who have never heard of kayaking or Nookie before, to mates or customers in the eddy on the river, to people who work in kayaking shops. I do this by just being a nice, approachable, honest person who people respect, easy. If somebody asks me a question about an item of kit I answer as honestly as possible, maybe let the person try the item if appropriate and point them in the direction of a local kayak shop where they can purchase said item if they are keen.

Photograph by James Weir

Secondly most successful sponsored paddlers are either competent photographers, videographers or both. By providing high quality photographs or videos to your sponsor to use in advertising will score you good points, focus on supplying material with good logo placement that is ready to use. The more aspirant paddlers will film, edit and produce their own films or write magazine articles or books, and use these media opportunities to promote their sponsors products. Many people use websites and blogs to promote themselves and their sponsors, be sure that you promote yourself in a good light to all. Keep your self promotion simple and high quality that everybody from your fans to the general public can understand, learn from and appreciate.

Photograph by Bill Mattos

Thirdly I am involved with the design, testing and development of products, this is something that different team riders will be involved in on different levels. At Nookie all team riders receive product feedback forms with their kit which they are expected to fill in and return. How many hours have you worn your cag for, what sort of use and any signs of early wear etc. I personally do lots of testing, chiefly because I go on the river lots, this summer I tested new dry pants amongst other things, I recorded over 350hours testing in four months, recording wear and tear every week and noting down potential for improvement. Feedback is just as important for production items as prototypes, the more we know the better the product will be. To give really good feedback learn about the products, how is it made and from what materials, how are they sewn together and if you don't like something, "it's crap" just is not good enough, why doesn't it work and how can it be made better.

Photograph by James Weir

This is just the start, if you feel you manage all these things then maybe, just maybe you've got what it takes to get a sponsorship deal. And remember getting sponsored doesn't mean you get sent free stuff and get to shout your head off, it is a work commitment that you must put the hours into, promoting the brand, testing products and being a good example to the world.

Photograph by Steffi Blochwitz

Oh I nearly forgot you also have to go boating loads and loads making everyday on the river worthwhile. Kayaking isn't a hobby any more, if you're sponsored it's a job.
So my young Jedis keep strong and be good, the force is with you.
James
Nookie Team Rider

NEW Nookie Airhead Dry Shell

AIRTIME
The all-new Nookie AIRHEAD was inspired by the popularity of the cult Nookie FX Shell. The ultra-comfortable neoprene neck has excellent stretch and flex characteristics for aerial and aquatic gymnastics, using the unique Nookie Ti-Glide neoprene with an adjustable power up for a water-tight seal. The whitewater shell is 100% constructed in Cornwall UK using 3-ply SomaTX3 fabric and the renowned Nookie ‘athletic cut’. The AIRHEAD has latex inner cuffs and Ti-Glide O-ring outer cuffs to prevent water jetting. The dual power up outer waist has a huge Velcro contact area and is cut high to avoid the bunching of excess material when sitting in a kayak. Full taping on the Ti-Glide neoprene inner seal offers the driest waist system available while remaining easy to slip on and off. Broad shoulders for ease of movement flow into anatomically pre-curved twisted articulated sleeves with Cordura reinforcement.

The new Nookie AIRHEAD is available from your local dealer now retailing at £139.99. For more download the new Nookie catalogue at www.nookie.co.uk

"Team Riderz love the FX - we're still using it 3yrs later. It's great to have a new version, with all the latest technical developments, and 3-ply fabric too!!!"

A week at work, well nearly

This week I have been working in the Nookie factory in Cornwall. Part of my job as a Nookie Team Rider is to assist with the design and development of new products and the marketing and advertising of present products. All kinds of crazy things have gone down in the name of progress, cutting up cags and sewing them back together again, sewing zips into top secret Zoot suits, cutting down latex neck seals with a circular saw, modelling T shirts for the street wear catalogue, testing ankle seals in buckets of water and logoing up my new bus. Here are a few photos to help explain, a picture paints a thousand words and all that.

Chief designer Hazel testing an ankle seal on her head, this is revenge for the silly photo of me stuck in a dry suit she posted earlier this week, hahaha!

The top secret Zoot suit, sshhh don't tell anybody

Pimp my ride Nookie style, thanks Dan

Time for a new River Monster

Nice new T shirts for me to strike a catalogue pose in

So having caused chaos here I'm off, coaching open boating this weekend then off home to Switzerland on Monday. On the way I will drop off some new things for team rider Ron Fischer before he heads out to Chile.
Peace out world
James Weir

Received by email this week:
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To nookie I finc yor wuk is kol. It is a masing. Can I wuc ther wen I gro up? from sterenn
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(aged 7) Sterenn is the Cornish word for star btw - clearly he is one

Rev'd Up

It's that time of year when daylight starts to have huge impacts on your play time. So when Pyranha sent me the prototype of their new play-thing the Rev, there was no choice but to get kitted up and go for a play. With the sun already low in the sky we set out for an awesome evening session, only returning in the pitch black, when the ground had already frozen. Well an excuse to go and warm up in the pub anyway! Good times...

Teamrider James Weir is in the factory doing a bit of product development. He put on a dry suit with a faulty zip and zipped it closed while my addled brain was still trying to find words to explain how I'd just taken about 20 minutes with a screwdriver and pair of plyers to get it undone. My second attempt wasn't a whole lot better.

It's a weekend when we English remember one man's pitifully unsuccessful attempt to change the course of history by setting fire to stuff. We celebrate his failure by... well... setting fire to stuff... And giving sparklers to children...

Funny the nostalgic photos we come across. I was proofreading our Teamriderz page and noticed this one of Nathan... I remember it as if it was yesterday - Teahupo'o the first day we went there back in 2003. We were completely psyched and petrified - everyone had told us this wave would hurt us bad. You know, that old metre-thick lip and centimetres-deep water scenario we love to hate? In fact, we were so psyched that Nathan jumped in his kayak and paddled into the line-up with no helmet on, still wearing his (sponsored, expensive) sunglasses, and no-one noticed until he took the drop and pulled in on this wave. Oops. Needless to say Nathan himself realised the error of his ways as he saw razor sharp coral poking up everywhere, and he came back to the boat for his lid. Sadly the expensive shades were long gone. Sorry cébé...